Friday was our second day getting to know Sweeti at Ashraya. Our day began early, about 2:30 a.m., since we had crashed so early the night before and we're very anxious to get back to see Sweeti.
After some blogging in those wee hours of the morning, we did manage to go back to bed until a more reasonable waking hour. For breakfast we were offered baked beans and toast, but the waiter saw the puzzled looks on our faces and offered us eggs and toast without the baked beans. Plantains were also available, which were riper and tastier than yesterday's. A very typical breakfast for us. Coffee was served at the end of the meal rather than before the meal like in the U.S. It again was well worth waiting for. South India is known to have excellent coffee.
Business hours here in Bangalore are 10 to 5, with a long lunch break in the middle of the day. We waited until we thought the morning rush hour was over, then proceeded to walk back to Ashraya. The streets were much more bustling than when we walked home after 5 p.m. the day before. There were many more street vendors, peddling bananas, coconuts, hot corn on the cob, and other fresh fruit and vegetables. More cows were roaming about. At one point in the day we saw three cows feasting on palm branches in a vacant lot. No one really looked at us eye to eye, everyone was rushing to do their own thing.
The scene today at Ashraya was a bit different than yesterday. The children's home was short staffed and preparations were being made for tomorrow's (Saturday's) celebration. Children were taken outside in small groups instead of all at once. The children seemed a bit more rambunxious with a little less supervision.
When we went to help out in the playroom, we found it very unique that one of the volunteers was an Israeli national, a worker was Muslim, another Hindu, and us Christians! I had never seen Jews and Muslims, Hindus and Christians working side by side for the same good purpose of helping children. This is probably unique to South India!
Today we saw a little more how hard this is for Sweeti. Ashraya is the only home she knows. The Aunties have been her providers. She is used to doing whatever the children around her are doing. This means even a 18 month old can take her place on a rug alongside the older kids.
Sweeti could sense when she saw us again that something was happening today. She would not go quietly. When we asked for the picture book we had sent her, featuring photos of our home, cats, children and parents, she did not seem particularly interested. Sweeti pretty much did her own thing during playtime, while the other children were sitting on my lap and calling me "Uncle," having me read to them. We also showed other children photos of their new families in America and Sweden. Some of them even knew the names of everyone in the pictures already. We were so happy to see that so many of the orphans have families that are waiting for their process to be completed. This was the case even with some with some severe disabilities, such as a blind autistic boy who has a mom waiting for him.
When lunch came, we thought we would try to feed Sweeti, since she will need to learn to take food from us and the aunties will not always be around to do so. We were handed her porridge, and attempted to feed her. She shook her head, clenched her teeth, and cried. And cried. And cried. Amy commented that Sweeti had good reason to be crying: 1) she was eating away from the other children, in a different room; 2) she was not being fed by the aunties who have feed her for the last year. She did stop crying on and off but still did not want us to feed her. Since she was obviously also tired, we handed her off to an Auntie who fed her and put her down for her afternoon nap. Having been through crying children who refused to eat before, we were patient and probably waited a longer time to hand her to the aunties than they expected.
A little disappointed by not being able to feed her lunch, we made our way back to the hotel to order in lunch. I told the girl at the front desk about our difficulty in trying to feed Sweeti. She said many couples adopting from Ashraya stay here and that many babies are crying much of the night. Good, we won't be so self-conscious if it happens to us.
We had the front desk order in a large chicken supreme pizza, cheese garlic bread, and Coke. Indian pizza is excellent. There was enough to last us also for supper. They had also sent us complimentary potato wedges and ketchup.
Around 3, fed and refreshed, we headed back to Ashraya to give it another try. On the way, many school children were walking home in their uniforms for some, traditional Indian clothes for others, and western clothing for others. Restaurants had closed shop, since lunch was not served after 3. They would reopen around 6 or 7for dinner.
When we arrived back at Ashraya, Sweeti was still sleeping, so we sat in the lobby waiting for her to wake up. While we sat, an older woman named Shanti, who is a member of Ashraya's board, which had approved Sweeti's placement with us, came to the office to talk with us. Her English was very good. Later I heard her ask someone if they knew English since she did not know the local language. She told us that when she moved to Bangalore in the late 60's it was a sleepy little town, a "pentioner's paradise." Then when the technology industry took off her it became more populated, dustier, dirtier. For her it was not a change for the better. She mentioned that the neighborhood around Ashraya was a good shopping area (which suprised us) but now does not appear to be so since so much is torn up in order to build an above ground metro system. She said the bus system and public transport in Bangalore was not so good but improving and that this metro system will be a vast improvement. We thoroughly enjoyed our visit with Shanti, who then was called away on official business.
When Sweeti woke up, Jennifer the therapist soon arrived to work with her. Jennifer showed her the book with pictures our family, telling it to her in an interesting way. We did not want to force things with Sweeti. I went to another room, to visit some of the other kids who were being given their afternoon biscuit (cookie). When biscuit time was over, Shawn sang songs to entertain the blind autistic boy, from folk songs to hymns to Johnny Cash classics. He seemed to enjoy it.
Eventually Sweeti, of her own volition crawled over and sat in Amy's lap. After having seen other kids do so, she made it known: "Hands off, this mommy's mine!" While Sweeti sat with Amy, Shawn played with other children, named Preeti and Anju. We gave high fives and there were lots of laughs. When I picked up Preeti, Anju, who is like little mother to the others, told me in a local language, "Uncle put her down." No need for translation, her gestures said it all. When a baby in the crib next to hers spit up, she told me about it so I could have an auntie change the sheets. She also pointed around to room to all the kids in their cribs and told me all their names.
While I was playing with other kids, one of the women in charge came with an Indian couple who had adopted six months ago from Ashraya. She introduced to me to them and had me tell them how old Sweeti was which I told them to the day: 1 year, 6 months, 28 days. She laughed that she knew it was better I tell since I surely would know. Sweeti meanwhile was very content in mommy's lap.
As the late afternoon went on, it seemed like our presence was riling up many children in a way rather than settling down those who were in the cribs and that it was time for us to go. It was around 5 p.m. Some workers were leaving. I went to the lobby and grabbed Amy's backpack, which had a dress and shoes for Sweeti to wear on her way out with us. We had an Auntie put them on her. She also brushed Sweeti's hair and put a talcum powder cream on her face and body. Aunties said their "farewell's" to Sweeti. We could see how much they care for the children. The children listen so well to them as well. Every child is treated as though they have potential to learn and to do things themselves. Visiting the children at Ashraya, you would not think of the children as having physical or mental disabilities. They are like a big family, fun, caring, communicative either by words and gestures.
We left Ashraya, with Amy carrying Sweeti. Sweeti was a bit sad at first, being brought out of the only environment she ever has known. But soon she stopped crying and was looking around at all the new sights. She is so curious and observant! Even at Ashraya she watches carefully what others are doing. She seemed to really enjoy all the honking horns, roaming cattle, and other sights and sounds. The people on the street would smile at her as they walked by. At an intersection, I saw a lady in an auto rickshaw tell her toddler, "Wave to the baby."
Upon arriving at the hotel, I introduced our newest family member to the girl at the front desk. Sweeti would not go to her but clung to Amy. The girl commented that Sweeti has grown attached to us. When we got up to our room, we turned on the TV. Sweeti carefully watched it. We put on a channel with the latest Bollywood related music videos. She did not want us to put her down but sat a long while in Amy's lap and then Shawn's. She ate her biscuits which were in her hands since the afternoon. She also tried to feed tiny bites to Shawn. While not wanting to play with the tiny Cabbage patch doll we brought for her or look at Baby Animals book for long, she looked at the Strawberry Shortcake book for a while.
We decided to wash her hair. There was not a tub, so we had to hold her over the sink. She cried while we washed and rinsed her hair. When we stopped she stopped crying and was happy as Shawn held her with a towel wrapped around her. We changed her diaper and put pj's on her. She was falling asleep on Shawn's shoulder while Amy combed through her thick curly hair. We lay her on pillow and blanket on the floor with a warm blanket on her, since we had the A/C to cut the humidity. She was still sleepy but now would take warm milk when Shawn offered it to her. She was used to getting her evening milk from a bottle rather than a sippy cup, but she was thirsty and kept wanting more until she was too tired anymore to drink. Around 9:30 she was asleep and remains so now at closed to 3 a.m.
We are planning to go back to Ashraya on Saturday afternoon for the celebration. We will also need to make arrangements for a taxi to take us to the aiport for our early morning flight to Delhi on Sunday.
