Shopping with Anju

Anju is normally a fun little shopping partner.  Today she was not.  In preparation for yet another snowstorm (only about 6" expected), we went to Bemidji to get groceries at the grocery store and essentials at Target.  Anju woke up on the wrong side of the crib and could not be consoled.  Even with a clean nappy and a nap on the way and full stomach she cried and whined loudly unless I held her.  Her non-verbal body language also told us clearly, "Not dad, I want mom."  Pushing a cart while holding a child while trying to find your coupons while trying to follow a list is a challenge.  I finally was able to hold her and put most of her weight on the shopping cart handle.  

This continued all day.  At Arby's, she turned down her usual fave--jalepeño poppers.   At the grocery store, she usually likes to sit in the little plastic car in the kiddie cart and pretend to drive.  Today she whined to get in the car.  Once in, she cried to get out.  This process happened probably 15 times.   She was happiest headfirst face-down half in and half out, but it's hard--and unsafe--- to push the cart and get groceries that way.  This would also have been extremely unsafe in the narrow aisles.  However, she didn't seem to believe us when we told her so.   So, we allowed her to walk.  Or, for example when she laid down in the middle of the aisle, she had to be carried.  Of course crying, because she wants to be laying down in the middle of the grocery store, the benefits of which  apparently should be obvious to us but sadly were not.

All this to say--even with weeks of progress, some days you just have to take a few steps back and start over again.  She peacefully slept on the way home, which enabled mom and dad to recuperate somewhat.  I remember these "golden" toddler days with Solveig--whose terrible 2's began at 18 months and lasted until she was nearly 4--so I know this is not just adoption adjustment, but is also a toddler adolescence magnified by limited use of English and the continuing bonding process.  I know this too will pass.  

My mom and dad sent me pictures of last weekend!!!

  

Here's some highlights:

Solveig, Jonah, Amy & Anju at Como Zoo

Wow, do I miss that brown grass now that I'm home in a winter wonderland again!

  I'm back to the winter coat, also  :-(  

A penny for your thoughts, Anju!

Fishies!

Looking at the sloth in the rain forest exhibit

It was hot and humid in there and all of us were sweating and uncomfortable to some extent--except Anju.  We all took off our coats and were still hot--she kept her sweatshirt on.  It reminded me of being at the zoo in Delhi suffering in extreme humidity and 90 some degree temps and seeing little kids bundled up in leather jackets.  

You all may have heard of the book, "Heather Has Two Mommies".  While this is not a commentary on that book (although I have comments) I often feel that when Anju grows up she may think the title of her scrapbook is "Anju Has No Mommy" because I am the resident photographer with a husband with a reputation for chopping off heads and making people need Dramamine if he takes videos.  Thanks again, mom and dad, for giving Anju evidence that she did have a mommy when she was little.

Back Home to Dad'n & A Day With Dad'n

Last weekend, while Amy and the kids got to go to the Twin Cities, I (Shawn) stayed home since I needed to be here for Sunday services.   I didn't accomplish much, besides normal pastoral preaching, teaching and visiting duties.  When I was at home I watched several movies, mostly long ones, some from the library, plus The Passion of the Christ and X-Men from our collection.  I was lonely and the house is very quiet without the kids around.  It's hard for me to function without Amy and the kids around.  I put on the TV or movie or music while I was reading to get some background noise.  I did get my Wednesday sermon done on confession and absolution, based on 1 John 1:6-10.

It seems as though at least one kid missed me as well. For when the car pulled into the garage on Sunday night and I opened the door, Anju excitedly shouted "Dad'n, dad'n."  She waved her arms excitedly like she does when Solveig gets off the bus.  Amy said Anju had been asking for me on the way home.  I'm glad she remembered me after all those days with just Amy.

On Tuesday, it was my turn to be home with Anju alone all day.  Amy had a liquor license meeting in Park Rapids which she attended with the city treasurer and mayor (ironically, Baptists).  So I got Anju up and changed and fed her.  We usually eat breakfast together, so that part was routine.  She did not like it that Amy wasn't around but did not fuss much.  We played and wrestled and listened to music.  When I would get tired out, I would put on an Elmo movie for her.  I didn't get any work accomplished, other than a couple phone calls to fellow pastors.  The best part of the day for me was after lunch when Anju fell asleep in my lap for over a half an hour.  It was nice to have a little one snuggle up and fall asleep on me- it's been years since Solveig and Jonah used to do this.  We have a picture from when Solveig was an infant in Oregon  and she fell asleep with me holding her with one arm and reading the theological book "Eucharist and Church Fellowship in the First Four Centuries" by Werner Elert, which I held in the other hand.

Once Amy came home again, Anju dropped me like a bad habit and clung to her.  She was glad to have mommy home.  It was fun being her favorite parent (by default) while it lasted!

Flood update

Our social worker didn't attempt the drive up this morning from St. Cloud to do our 2nd post-placement visit.  Not only are we in a winter storm warning- still snowing and we already have at least a couple inches of new snow (yay--extreme sarcasm)- but the other family she needs to visit can't be reached because their road is under water.  

Please keep all of those in the Fargo area and NW MN in your prayers as they face the cresting of bodies of water this week which is expected to be at a record high.  I heard today on the radio that some in ND are needing to be rescued from their homes because of extreme flooding in their homes- 6 feet inside and rising.  We are lucky to not live in a community threatened by flooding--just our normal wet basement which is irritating enough.

Shawn's afternoon Lenten service at the nursing home in Clearbrook will be upstairs in the activity room instead of the sanctuary because there is water coming in the lower level.  It will be a tight squeeze, but we'll manage!

Shawn conducting last week's service at Good Samaritan in Clearbrook

We've got about 50 confused robins and other songbirds outside our house today that have been fun to watch--Anju is mesmerized-although I feel sorry for them for coming back a tad bit too soon.  We don't have bird feeders, since we have cats and that just isn't fair to the birds to be lured to their certain death, but they are excitedly eating the leftover crabapples off our tree.  

Anju's first road trip or Anju loves Elmo

Anju on the move

We left Thursday morning for a visit to my parents/brother in the Minneapolis area.  This is a 5-hour trip for one mom and three kids to make (Shawn had to stay home and conduct church).  It's a 3 1/2 hour trip for a dad going to a meeting in the cities--you fill in the blanks.  Before this trip, the longest Anju had been in the car was about a half hour.  Let's just say after an hour and a half she started getting concerned.  Yes, concerned is a good word for it.

Whenever she was especially "concerned", the kids discovered that if they sang the "Elmo's World" theme song, she quieted down.  So, we're all really sick of Elmo now.  Well, not Anju.  She lives, breathes and likely dreams about Elmo.

Once we arrived, she appeared to warm up quickly to my family and she enjoyed thrift shopping with her mommy and grandma.  Grandma found an Elmo purse and I found some Elmo board books, so it was a successful trip in Anju's eyes!  Now that we're home, she loves putting the books in the purse and walking around the house with them.  She also likes to kiss the pictures of Elmo.

She enjoyed her Chinese dinner at LeeAnn Chin's, and seeing lots of "pup-pups"--some stuffed at Cabela's, and some alive at Como Zoo.  She preferred her animals breathing and moving, as do I.  

Solveig, Anju, Grandpa, Grandma and Jonah at Cabela's

Checking out the ant farm at the zoo

You know life is exactly as it should be (at least in my life) when your new camera you've had for 5 months breaks right in the middle of a trip.  It stopped taking pictures, but still takes videos-- it's going to have to get sent in.  So, my visual aids for this story are much lacking.  My dad was kind enough to treat me to a disposable camera at the zoo--but those pictures won't be available for awhile.  And, of course, the social worker is coming tomorrow and I am short the one family picture that I was going to have taken at the last minute.  

Anju found the Elmo ride at the outlet mall

After church on Sunday (we found a wonderful LCMS church with traditional services), we stopped at the outlet mall for lunch at Subway and for the kids to play on the playground.  The drive home was much more uneventful.  Anju didn't get really upset until about the last half hour and she did sleep for much of the trip.

  So, now I guess she's all ready for her next road trip next month.  We have her birthday on April 16 on which we will drive to Fargo and stay at a hotel, have her dr appointment in Fargo at 8 a.m. the 17th, and then leave the 18th for the Rochester area to celebrate Anju's great-great grandma's 100th birthday with her on the 19th and will return home the 20th.  "Elmo's World", here we come!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

A Wee Leprechaun

Jonah shows off his leprechaun at the academic fair.

I've been trying since Monday to upload this: enjoy!

A conversation with Anju

Snow Daze

For those of you who don't live in the northern US, this is what spring looks like in N. MN!

The view from my bedroom window (second story) yesterday afternoon.

Jonah entertains Anju Tuesday with baby Legos--good job, Jonah!

After having gone sledding twice last weekend, 

Anju spent quite a bit of time Monday in the kitchen

 "sledding" on my dustpan across the floor.  What a card!

Anju, "baby" and Pooh bear

Yesterday the kids had no school.  Today they have no school again.  We had over a foot of snow yesterday in the "big midwestern-plains" blizzard and it's blowing around today and very cold- windchills in the 30 below range.  The drifts outside are in the 3-4 foot range and actually are quite beautiful--much like the sand dunes we saw in Michigan a few years ago.  So, there has been a house full of activity here which will continue today!!!  

The older kids had the opportunity yesterday to earn money through cleaning their rooms and "babysitting" Anju.  I was actually able to accomplish 4 loads of laundry yesterday and clean one bathroom while the kids took turns occupying her.  She even played with Jonah for a long time--not all in one chunk, but long enough to do what I needed to do.  I snuck away when Jonah watched an Elmo DVD from the library with her, and Anju didn't notice for ten minutes.  I only get about 2 minutes max when I'm by myself.  So, it was a win, win, win, win situation--the kids each got money to spend at garage sales, I got some stuff done and had a moment's peace, and Anju got playmates.

My Snuggly Princess

This picture says it all.  

When we got off the plane on November 20th, Anju thrashed around as if she were being tortured at the airport, as we put her in a snow suit.  She screamed about getting strapped in her car seat.  Anju cried, "na, na, na"  at putting on a blanket sleeper.  Anju lamented over having hats and mittens put on.  Anju refused to have a blanket put over her.   Then, slowly the tantrums stopped, and she seemed to have resigned herself to the necessary evils of life in Nordic MN.  

Finally, in the past week or so, she has gone from acceptance of her new way of life to what appears to be happy, blissful enjoyment.  She brings me her coat regularly, wanting to go outside.  She joyfully lays down on her snow suit when I lay it down on the floor (although usually facing the wrong way) and tries to help me zip it up.  Today she giggled with delight as I put her in a sled with me and shoved off, gliding down the hill in our backyard on a perfect day for sledding.  The cool breeze blowing on her face as we picked up speed made her eyes open wide and she took in sudden quick breaths of excitement.

Brooke commented that she could see this change in Anju's eyes.  Yes, we see it too.  She is out of her shell and seems to feel free to be herself.  She teases us by running away when we try to dress her, and has gotten into her share of trouble in the past week getting into our stuff that we've carelessly left within her reach.  She has replaced her reserved giggles with huge belly laughs.  

Of course there are still tough times.  Mornings are still especially hard when she stands outside the bathroom door crying and screaming as if someone were methodically cutting off her fingers while I try to shower.  It's tough to not have any time to yourself some days because she is still learning to trust that I'm always going to come back to her.  

But as she crawled up on the couch and motioned for me to cover her with a blanket, then softly stroked the fleece saying her word for "soft" and contently began sucking her thumb with a comfortable half-asleep smile, I knew that she had come far.  And so have we.

Food, food and more food!

Anju enjoys her first meal in the school cafeteria Thursday night.....(or as her father says, her first government subsidized meal.)  After our free supper of Sloppy Joes, baked beans, potato chips, pickles and ice cream bars (of which she mostly ate beans), we went to the academic fair, art show and book fair to see what Solveig and Jonah have been up to.

Backtracking to Wednesday-------We celebrated Shawn's birthday by going with him to his second nursing home Lenten service of the day in Clearbrook, then heading to Bemidji so he could get his free supper at Country Kitchen.  I went to snap a pic of him eating his free birthday ice cream, and guess what got in the shot???  A little hand stealing his daddy's treat.  After supper, we accompanied Shawn to his next Lenten service--he was switching pulpits with the pastor in Bemidji.  Usually, during March he has 2 nursing home services during the day, than 2 Lenten services in the evening--one at each of our churches (2-point parish).  What a lazy guy!

Anju was very busy--at both services.  Not misbehaving, per se, but not being quiet or wanting to sit appropriately for church.  I've found that toddlers are not by nature excited about sitting through church services--and it is even more so for a toddler who wasn't brought up knowing that there are some times that one must be quiet.  I tried to stuff her mouth with her favorite Indian biscuits and her sippy cup, but she just wanted to make noise.  And it wasn't as though the other two were being a great example, either.  :-(

Shawn and his favorite son

Solveig eats her own ice cream.

Prayer request for Anju's friend

Once again, I ask for your prayers for Brooke's family.   Their daughter, Nisha, is currently hospitalized with serious infections, and the rest of the family is also under the weather.  We met Nisha at Ashraya in November when we picked up Anju and we hold her and her family very close to our hearts.  Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Brooke!

Answered prayers

I discovered on rainbowkids.com this morning that "Vee", the little boy with SB whom we met at Anju's children's home, is now on hold for a family.  He is a little ray of sunshine and the person/people adopting him will be very lucky to have him for a son.  Thanks to all those who kept this little boy's future in your prayers. 

Happy Birthday Shawn!

Shawn at the MN State Fair last August- enjoying a kid-free day with his wife

 (and a giant gopher made of flowers and vines).

Daddy and Anju at Ashraya- their first day together.

Shawn and Anju having breakfast at the hotel in Bangalore.

Anju and Daddy at home- He wasn't so bad after all.

Happy 35th Birthday to Solveig, Jonah and Anju's Daddy!!!

Solveig's skate show

We all attended Solveig's figure skating show on Saturday.  It is not a heated rink, and it was about ten below outside, so we all bundled up and brought thick, fleecy blankets to sit on and wrap around us if we needed them.  Anju wore her warm snowsuit and didn't seem to be bothered by the cold.  Jonah and I shared a hot chocolate, Shawn had coffee and Anju hogged the popcorn.

Solveig performed with two other skaters who also got Badge 5 at the conclusion of this session.  They did a routine to the music of the TV shows Happy Days and Luverne and Shirley.  Great job Solveig!

Solveig in her costume on the ice- brrrrrrr!

   The poodle skirt and saddle shoe skate covers were so cute!

Daddy won the 80's trivia contest--and got this sweatshirt!

Anju enjoyed the show--or perhaps she was enamored with the popcorn???

She oooed and aaahed about the skaters, but mostly wanted to eat.

Solveig is the skater furthest to the right at the beginning of the routine, 

and the first to do a spiral at the end.