Cookies and Gardening

Anju and Jonah enjoy their cookies.

3 kids who apparently think gardening is done with sandbox tools.

The kids wanted a picture of themselves with their weeds with long roots.......

....so this kid did too!

School's out

Solveig the Shaggy Dog (we watched the old Disney movie last night- ha!)

Jonah takes his haircut like a man.

Thursday was the older kids' last day at school--and they got out 2 hours late at that!  So, yesterday we all ventured out to Bemidji to reward them for their good report cards they brought home Thursday (We let the O-'s and S+'s slide just this once) and to buy the food for VBS which starts next Monday.  Jonah had a $5 credit card he found in a cereal box burning a hole in his pocket, also.

The day started out well for us, but by the time we were done with the garage sale, bank (more things to be notarized for the adoption), haircuts, lunch, mall shopping (extremely pitiful mall, but they had the glow-in-the-dark fabric paint that Solveig "needed" to finish up her t-shirt project), and Target excursion, the kids were in rare form to head to pick up the groceries, which had to be purchased last because of the frozen/cold items.

We wielded two carts- one for VBS and one for us.  Anju demanded to be carried, and yelled, "Mom!  Mom!" right into my ear making my ear hurt like it had an infection.  If I set her down, she ran off.  If I put her in the cart, she screamed bloody murder and made everyone look at me like I was one of those terrible moms who takes their toddler to town to shop when they should really be napping.  And of course the other two were whining, "He touched me!" and "Make her stop following me!" and the like.  When you live 35 miles from town, sometimes you just have to do what you have to do and pray that you (and I guess the kids) will recover from the post-traumatic stress of it all later.

It was fun planning the VBS menu- all with this year's fishing theme:

Day One: Starfish Soup w/ Fish Crackers, Bobber Brownies

Day Two: It Got Away PB&J, Rainbow Trout Crackers, Bait Cups (oreo crumbs, choc. pudding and gummy worms)

 Day Three: Fish Sticks, Dolphin Nuggets, Happy Fisherman potatoes, Lake Jello (blue jello w/ Swedish Fish inside)

 Day Four: Seashells & Cheese, (leftovers), Matey Mix (graham fish crackers, M&M's, Marshmallow Matey's cereal)

We serve the evening meal before VBS starts at 6pm, and on Friday we will have a potluck at the lake and actually go fishing following our closing service!

We've got an auction to go to on Sunday following church, and two more the next weekend--the summer auction season is off to a great start.  If you don't know me well, I just love to attend farm or household auctions, and it seems there have been a couple lean years lately for auctions.  Hopefully this year will be very productive for a family on a budget!

Prayer request:  You may recall my grandma having medical issues last fall/winter after falling in her home.  My grandparents just moved back home on Sunday after a long winter of recovery and therapy.  Well, on Thursday morning, I got a call that my grandpa had fallen in the night and was being taken to the hospital.  He was put in the ICU and apparently has heart problems requiring intervention/surgery of some kind.  Please keep my parents, aunt/uncle and family and grandparents in your prayers during this troubling time.  We know you are in God's hands, Grandpa Clinton!

Well, Shawn's out mowing the lawn, and the kids and I need to weed the garden so we can plant next week.  Our growing season up here is so short--and on the news they said we're about 2 weeks behind because of all the cold weather.  The joys of living in the tundra!  It's supposed to reach the mid 60's here today.  So, I might be safe putting away the snowpants now!

Memorial Day Weekend

My grandfather's brother

"Before and After"

Pictures on display at Fort Totten (Devil's Lake, ND) showing how "successful" their

assimilation process with local Sioux was.

The kids with their grandparents at Fort Totten.

Anju the student at Fort Totten.

The kids walking around the fort.

We stayed in this cabin at Red Willow Bible Camp near Binford, ND.

Thought

Watching Anju splash around in her bath this morning and had a thought---  I think I finally know more about her than anyone else. 

Part of the letting-go process involved in my other children's lives was that until they went to school, I knew everything about them.  I shared all of their experiences and I knew everyone they knew.  Once they "grew up" and left my home they had experiences without me.  They know people I don't know and have learned things from others that I am not privy to.  They are fully their own individuals, although they are still my precious children.

With Anju (and "older" adopted children) we pick them up and take them home, but we really know nothing about them.  Their birth family knows a chunk of their history, but at the point of adoption, the orphanage workers and hospital staff (in our case) know more than anyone else.  We know nothing of their likes and dislikes, what comforts them, what things they'll recognize and what things they're experiencing for the first time except for the few notations in their paperwork.  

Today, around 6 months after Anju's arrival, I finally feel like I am the Anju expert.  We have shared experiences for half a year and I know her.  She knows me too.  

Psalm 139:1-16 

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me 
You know when I sit and when I rise 
you perceive my thoughts from afar. 

You discern my going out and my lying down 
you are familiar with all my ways 

Before a word is on my tongue 
you know it completely, O LORD 

You hem me in—behind and before 
you have laid your hand upon me. 

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me 
too lofty for me to attain. 

Where can I go from your Spirit? 
Where can I flee from your presence? 

If I go up to the heavens, you are there 
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 

If I rise on the wings of the dawn 
if I settle on the far side of the sea 

even there your hand will guide me 
your right hand will hold me fast. 

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me 
and the light become night around me," 

even the darkness will not be dark to you 
the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. 

For you created my inmost being 
you knit me together in my mother's womb. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made 
your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 

My frame was not hidden from you 
when I was made in the secret place. 
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth 

your eyes saw my unformed body 
All the days ordained for me 
were written in your book 
before one of them came to be. 

Off again!

The kids and I are leaving in a few minutes for another road trip!  This time we're going to meet my parents in North Dakota to visit my dad's growing-up area and honor my great-uncle Martin who gave his life in WWII at the Memorial Day service at the cemetery.  I am happy to introduce Anju to her Rasmussen roots (ha!) and to reinforce the importance and honor of sacrifice and patriotism in my older 2 kids.  

We'll be staying at Red Willow Bible Camp in rural Binford in a house-like cabin, so should be able to enjoy s'mores and grilled hamburgers and all the camping stuff without being quite so rustic this early in the season.  

Hope you all enjoy the Memorial Day weekend--not forgetting the men and women it honors.

MRI results

The pediatrician from the myelodysplasia clinic called this morning regarding Anju's MRI.  The head part was normal--no fluid/hydrocephalous--which was expected.  The spinal part showed tethering at the surgical site--which also was expected.  There were no surprises.  As far as the tethering goes, we will watch for further leg weakness or bowel/bladder control loss as signals that the tethering needs surgical intervention.  This may never happen, or may happen often.  

So for now, Anju is doing well----thanks be to God!

May pics

The kids had fun with this toad/frog, (depending on which of the kids you ask) 

who perfectly blends into our trees.

Anju enjoys a toasted marshmallow at our first official grilling out of the season.

Anju enjoys her pickle at the Festival of Nations.

The 3 kids at the Festival of Nations holding animals they

bought at the Hmong booth (cat, butterfly and turtle).

Anju's MRI

OK.  Anytime I have to get up before 5 a.m., it's going to be a tough day for me.  I didn't make coffee at home because I was afraid the coffee grinder would wake up Jonah, and really I didn't end up having time to do it anyway.  I had my backpack all ready to go the night before with a change of clothes for Anju (since she was supposed to come in her jammies), snacks, diapers, etc., so all I had to do was get ready myself and grab Anju, change her diaper and go. 

We were off at 5:35 since we had to be there at 8.  (Don't ask me why.)  On the way she asked for milk.  I said that the nurse said no milk.  She asked for crackers.  She asked for cheese.  She got very annoyed with me for not feeding her.  I was starving, but waited until she had drifted off for awhile before I jammed my mouth full of graham goldfish crackers as not to tease her.  Elmo the stuffed monster danced on my head, the top of the car seat, gave Mama kisses and drove the car for awhile.  That helped distract her, but finally she asked for crackers again, and when I said that I was sorry but I couldn't give her any, she started asking for her dad-n.  Apparently HE would have given her crackers.  Dumb Mama!  She drifted in and out of sleep and I tried not to.

We got up to the peds floor at 8:05 and the nurse, Sue, was waiting for us.  She took us to our room and did Anju's vitals and I filled out all the ridiculous paperwork consenting to all the elements of the procedure.   Anju's anesthetist arrived, who incidentally was from Bombay (Mumbai).  Anju changed into a Looney Tunes hospital gown that was way too big, and we picked out some toys from the toy room to play with.  She watched Clifford and Sesame Street while we played--trying to keep her from asking for food.  The nurse brought me coffee (I must have looked like I was about to drop) and Anju wanted it.  I had to gulp it down fast.

We played Little People--with a baby, mama and puppy.  Anju had the mama kiss the baby and the baby would kiss the mama and the mama would rock the baby.  I was glad to see good and healthy understanding of the baby/mama relationship.  

They came to get her for her MRI at 10:20 or so.  Why I had to keep her busy in that room for an hour and a half I don't get.  I guess sometimes things come up??  Anyway, we went down in the elevator.  When the whole crew was present, I handed Anju to the nurse and she took her into the MRI room.  I couldn't go in since I had metal on my person, but was able to stand in the doorway and watch them put Anju under.  They put a mask on her face and she was out in 4 or 5 breaths--or cries.  I was escorted to the family room while they put in an IV and she was intubated.  I guess moms don't get to see that part--for good reason.

I waited in the waiting room for an hour and a half--leaving to go to the bathroom twice for something to do--and discovering a nearby coffee shop where I bought a mocha and bar since it was getting close to lunch time and all I'd had was some weak hospital coffee and goldfish crackers.  They called me back in and there was little Anju starting to come out of her sleep laying on a gurney that seemed so large in comparison with her tiny body.  She was bundled up in her favorite fuzzy Tweety blanket (coordinated with the hospital gown- who knew?) and was sucking her thumb.

We were escorted up the elevator to the recovery room.  I was shown the family room and told it would be about an hour.  Half an hour later (felt like 2 hours) a nurse came in the family room holding Anju.  I took her in my arms and the nurse held the IV bag and we headed in the elevator to our room on the peds floor.  Anju snuggled right in but was still too groggy to realize it was me.  That nurse had done a mission trip to Bangalore 10 or so years ago and told about the low-tech condition of the hospital she visited there.

When we got to her room, Anju and I settled into the rocking chair while the nurse hung the IV bag and did the necessary blood pressure etc. checks.  Anju looked up at me and said her word for baby, smiled, and closed her eyes again.  They brought her some apple juice and she was able to take a few sips from the straw and over the course of 20 minutes or so became more responsive.  But what really helped her wake up was that they brought her animal CRACKERS!  I opened the bag and asked if she wanted to try one and she came to life.  She tried to hold the bag with her hand that was all taped up with the IV, so I told her I'd hold it and she could grab some with her other hand.  She finished off the whole bag over the next 15 minutes, and would try to sign "more" with one hand when she needed apple juice.  They took her IV out, and we were able to go home.  She was happy to hear the word "car".

My aunt, who passed away about 4 years ago, worked in the NICU at that hospital, and it was nice to see the floor where she had spent so much of her life (over 30 years I think).  

Anju slept all the way home--I didn't thanks to a drive-through Dr. Pepper and chicken sandwich at KFC.  Many thanks to conservative talk radio for keeping my brain active and my reflexes sharp as I drove home a bit drowsier than I would have liked.  Anju wanted to watch the Wiggles when we got home around 5:30--but she would fall asleep every 10 minutes or so waking up only when I shut it off, so I finally got her convinced to lay down in her crib and go "night-night" instead.  It's 9 a.m. and she is still asleep.  She got up twice in the night but settled right back down- although she is in our bed now.  

We should get a call next week with the results.  

Solveig's concert and art show

Solveig's spring concert and art show were last night.  Great job, Solveig!

(I'm too tired after driving 5 hours and spending 6 hours in a hospital today to blog about Anju's MRI experience, but I'll get to it tomorrow---hopefully.)

The Pacific Princess sets sail

For those of you brought up in the 80's like I was, you may remember Julie the cruise director from "Love Boat", who was always running around with her clip board arranging activities for the passengers.  Well, this May you can just call me Julie (but I'd prefer you didn't).  

Between Anju's appointments, Jonah and Solveig's field trips, Solveig's piano recital and school music concert, Jonah's Kindergarten graduation, VBS planning (first week of June), church meetings, community events, trips, confirmation and graduation open houses, city clerk responsibilities, and Memorial Day plans, I barely have time to sleep, do laundry, cook, clean and all those other fun things---emphasis on the sleep.  

Yesterday Shawn attended a study club with a couple other pastors in Bemidji while Anju and I got her orthotics fitted.  Then we ran around Bemidji looking for shoes that they would fit in that woudn't make her look like a clown.  Just when I was about to ask where the foam red nose and squirting flower section was, we found a pair that are suitable.  She's not crazy about them, especially wearing them in the house since we are a barefooot kind of family, but I'm sure with time she'll grow used to them.  I bought her all kinds of new socks to wear with her new shoes and she is very excited about the socks.  The girl loves socks for some reason (obviously not my genetic child-ha!).  

Today she went to her doctor for her pre-anesthesia exam.  Her doctor (also from India) says she can tell she is growing healthier and filling out and is developing emotionally in an appropriate fashion.  She has no developmental concerns.  Anju was even able to blow bubbles at the doctor's office which they found impressive for her age.  We also had her dr. fill out the medical form that we need to send to LSS to finalize the adoption.  At least this one time we could kill two birds with one stone!

Tomorrow Anju and I leave about 6 a.m. for Fargo where she needs to check-in on the pediatric floor of the hospital at 8:30 for her 10:30 MRI/CT etc. appointment.  Please pray that she does fine under the general anesthesia and that the results of the scans are positive.  Anju and I will be missing Ladies' Aid and the VBS meeting tomorrow night after our long day.  We just can't hit them all.

Anju has developed an attachment to her fuzzy Tweety bird blanket (one of Jonah's baby gifts) and stuffed monkey she got for her birthday the past week or so.  She needs to drag the blanket and sometimes monkey around with her during the day.  She also is sucking her thumb more now.  I am reading a book about raising int'l adopted kids, and it said that having a comfort item or "lovey" like an animal or blanket and dragging it around is a sign of attachment to the mother, since these items come to symbolize their mom to them.  Many adopted kids from other cultures don't have a special toy or blanket because they are indiscriminate about what/who comforts them.  So, I'm taking this as a good sign.  She also likes me to wrap her up in the blanket and play "baby".  I rock her and kiss her when she is all bundled up in the blanket and she says and signs "baby" while I say "Anju is my sweet baby"...etc.  She smiles and laughs and sometimes says "mama" and kisses me too.

I'm off to address a mailing to my city's residents about this Saturday's clean-up day---if Elmo can be entertaining enough to buy me a half hour.  Hoping all is "exciting and new" with you all!

Festival and Final Post-placement Visit

Anju was still a reluctant long-distance traveler, and she did not appreciate my brother's cat living indoors, but otherwise she enjoyed her trip to the cities to see her grandparents and uncle and to attend the Festival of Nations.  She really enjoyed watching the performances of kids representing different cultures dancing in their beautiful costumes.  She especially liked the ones that made noise--like the Dakota kids with their loud costumes, or Japanese ones with their loud drums.  The most enchanting part of the festival is the international café section with booths from about 30 countries.  She and I enjoyed a plate of chicken and potato curries, mango chutney and rice from Nepal and of course she washed this down with a dill pickle and a piece of lefse!  

Yesterday the social worker from LSS came for the last post-placement visit.  They don't have experience placing from India, so weren't sure how to do the IR-4 adoption, or an adoption from guardianship.  (Most int'l adoptions have you adopt the child abroad, get an IR-3 visa, and then just finalize here, but we need to do the full adoption here.)  We will need to go to court when all our paperwork is done to adopt Anju.  The documents the IR-4 process demands are a birth certificate from her home country and an adoption decree, neither of which we have.

She said that many families have complained about therapists/schools/medical professionals pushing various therapies for "delayed development" because the tests they use compare adopted kids to Caucasian, Western, normally parented children.   Our adopted kids should be analyzed by looking at how far they come in development in comparison to their time with their family.  When you consider how far Anju has come with gross motor skills and language in the 5 1/2 months she has been home, and how much she has grown physically, it is unrealistic to expect her to have accomplished much more.  She said if our primary care doctor isn't concerned, to just blow it off.  This has been my gut thought, and I've gotten several other opinions from experts- mothers- in the past few days and it's good to hear a consensus.  Thanks, Jackie!

Camera's back from the shop!

Ever since Anju arrived, she has been saying "na, na, na" and doing a finger wiggle.  I finally got it on video.  When someone (or something--like her uncle's speaking medication dispenser) is misbehaving in Anju's book--cat is in the house, brother is goofing off during prayer time, daddy is sitting at the "wrong" spot at the table----we are treated to the "bossy Anju" routine.  Enjoy!

A Win-Win-Win Situation

(Shawn) Ever since we got back from India, I haven't known how to fit exercise into my schedule. Having a toddler around has meant our morning routine has changed.  We own an elliptical, but it's in the garage.  Also, this was one snowy, cold winter, sub-zero for weeks on end.  I was very prone to hibernation.  But this past week, we have had very spring-like pleasant weather most days.  So last Monday, I decided to put Anju in the stroller and push her as I went for a 2 mile walk.   She was excited to go outside, and fell asleep on the walk.  So this is what we've been doing that last week and half, except for rainy days when I use the elliptical for about 50 minutes.  This has been a win-win-win situation, allowing me to exercise, Anju to go outside and get a nap, and Amy to have an hour or so by herself in the morning.

April pics

Solveig at the tea party in Thief River Falls- (she's wearing a Johnny Cash shirt)

Anju with her Grandpa Dave, Great-Grandma Sammy and Grandma Darlene

(Shawn's parents and grandma) at Edna's party

Anju with her puppy from the medical supply man

3 kids in a pool

Grandma and Grandpa Stafford and Auntie Sara's friend Sathish

with Solveig and Jonah at Grandma Edna's party

Clinic Report

We got the full medical report back yesterday on Anju's myelodysplasia clinic visit.  Her renal ultrasound was normal.  That's good news--no reflux or anything unusual.  It was interesting to read all the doctors'/specialists' reports on her history--and how they describe her birth/abandonment/orphanage life/placement and adoption.  Also funny was the category on abuse suspected--they put "don't know" because parents never left the room so they could ask her.  Ha!!  

More specifics: speech therapy recommended twice a week, gross motor skills and cognitive development are at a minor delay, and fine motor skills are normal, she is at the less than 0% for height and weight, but proportion height for weight she is at the 27%, no reflex action noted in lower leg (hitting the knee), lower leg weakness, stance/gait problem previously discussed with recommendation for foot bracing, and recommendations for MRI, CT scan and urodynamic testing to be done later this month to see how her syrinx etc. are doing in comparison to her MRI done as an infant.

They say basically her deficits are gross motor skills (jumping, walking up/down stairs, standing on tiptoes, catching a ball etc.) and we are supposed to work on those---while at the same time reporting problems with her feet/walking and lower leg weakness---which to me would impede development of those skills.  Right?  But we're going to work on them and see what happens.

I take her outside with her ball to play, but she gets mad if I take her ball away.  She just wants to stand and hold it and look at it.  I'm not sure if she loves it so much she's afraid I'm going to steal it, or is just so giddy to have something she owns, or if she really doesn't "get" playing ball at all.  

Please keep me in your prayers as I embark on another trip to the cities for the weekend with my 3 traveling companions in the back seat.  For serenity and never-ending caffeine for me, and fatigue for them????