Prayer works! (As if there was ever any doubt.)

Here's a post from the family waiting to adopt Vee, the little boy I've mentioned several times on this blog who was posted in the same waiting child article as our little Anju.  We continue to keep them in our prayers as they jump through all the incredibly exciting yet frustrating bureaucratic hoops necessary to bring their little guy home.

Owie!

Anju has an owie.  The insides of one of her feet has a sore on it from her shoe insert.  We gave her a couple days off on that foot to let it heal, have used band-aids to stop the rubbing, and it doesn't seem to be getting better.  

We could take the insert back to the medical supply company to be adjusted.  We'd have to make an appointment for that in Bemidji.  If it gets worse, that's what we'll have to do.

One major problem, is that her inserts are not covered by our insurance.  I am completely through the appeals process, and the $668 for each set of inserts as she grows is entirely our responsibility.  They would cover AFOs or other more bulky braces, but won't cover inserts as they are deemed "elective".  I argued that hers are a documented treatment for issues caused by spina bifida, and not for chiropractic use or back pain as the policy excluded, but was turned down.  Who would have thought that more minimal medical devices would be uncovered, but if she had more severe sb, her braces (thousands of dollars) would be paid for in full?!  

It seems the consequences of not having the inserts would cost them more money in the long run, were we not to pay for them out of pocket--PT, issues due to walking misaligned that will happen in other parts of her body including joints, etc--but that's just me.  It is our goal to have her be able to walk as normally as  possible as an adult--at whatever cost.

Wondering if they'd be covered by Obama's health plan???  Hmmmmmm.  Probably, but she'd be 60 by the time she received them.

(BTW, liberal friends, before you jump on me, I'm not happy with the current insurance system either.  I'm for paying the doctors what things actually cost- not inflated "insurance" costs- and just having large item emergency insurance policies in case someone gets cancer, is in an accident, etc.  Day to day things should just be paid for at a reasonable rate.  So don't get on me about my socialized medicine comment.)

Finalization Update

We got a letter from our court today, saying that they have received our petition, and filed our case.  As soon as they receive confirmation from DHS that our fingerprints on file pass the Adam Walsh statute (child abuse/criminal record), they will contact us to schedule a court date.

I have a bumper sticker on my car that says, "Motherhood is a proud profession".  I would say that adoptive motherhood is even more of a profession.  How many hours have been spent on paperwork and fingerprinting and finding notaries and searching the internet and library for information???  How many hours spent holding and comforting a grieving child?  How many spent inwardly digesting the things I have seen in my child's birth country?  I would say that I definitely consider my position as mother to be my full-time job--and with Anju I have often felt I've been working overtime.  

How wonderful it is to see this chapter, although exciting, come to a close as her final adoption looms near.  I know there are still hurdles on the horizon, but am anxious to get back to my basic job description- mom.

Early Intervention Meeting

We met with the early intervention team this afternoon to go over Anju's scores and come up with a plan for future services.  She scored in the lower-normal range in cognitive and motor skills, and just below normal in language.  Her lowest scores were in expressive language, just as we had predicted.  (She can understand language, but doesn't initiate it or say it herself.)  She would not qualify for services based upon her scores, as she is just slightly higher than the level of concern (in other words, she is at about the lowest for "normal" or the highest for "delayed", right at the borderline).  However, because of her spina bifida diagnosis, she will qualify and will be eligible for services later on if her neurological condition changes and adaptations in her schooling are necessary.  She is doing fine for motor skills now--although a bit behind--so no OT or PT will be necessary at this time, but are available if they are needed in the future.  We were glad to see her cognitive skills at such a high score (95 where average is 100) because they gave her an 80 at the sb clinic in Fargo at the end of the long medical visit and I really thought it was underestimated.  

She will have bi-weekly home visits from her teacher, with emphasis on expressive language.  We are going to try a system of photo cards in addition to the signing to try to elicit language out of her around the house.  Her teacher also will provide music and movement activities to encourage her to use her voice to echo the words she hears.  We were told that she also can start school readiness (preschool) at the age of 3 at no cost to us to allow her to interact with other children if we desire.  Speech therapy will also be offered when she is 3 if it is deemed necessary.

Her teacher is coming up with our formalized IFSP (Individualized Family Service Plan), the early intervention version of an IEP, and we will meet again with her in a couple weeks to go over that and solidify our specific plans.  There are many options given, and it is hard to know when to seek help and when to let things work out for themselves.  The 3 interventionists who met with us today thought she was doing very well and will continue to grow in ability.  They could see that she was getting many opportunities for learning with us already, but had a few tools they thought would be helpful in addition to her signing and the other strategies we have already implemented.  So, we'll give it a go since I've been spending a lot of time trying to come up with ways for her language skills to blossom, and this may help.  

Adoption Study

I got a call this morning from the U of Minnesota Adoption Clinic.  Anju has been selected to take part in a longitudinal study of how institutionalized adopted children adapt to living with a family.  They will give us one night hotel (w/pool), gas money for our 5-hour each way drive, 2- $25 gift certificates to Target, a bag of goodies for Anju and copies of the DVDs they take of her playing there for our participation each time we go.  She will be going every 8 months.  It seems to be mostly observation as to how she plays with unfamiliar toys, relates to someone she hasn't seen before, reacts to her parent, etc.  They will put sensors on her to measure her heart rate and take saliva samples to measure how much of the stress hormone, cortisol, is being released.  We will also take saliva samples at home for comparison.  Otherwise, no medical interventions.

So, now our gas money is paid for our trip to the Twin Cities in August (we were going then anyway) for Shawn's summer seminary and we have one night in a hotel with a pool!  The kids and I will miss out on one morning of fun with grandma, but hopefully the pool will make up for it.

Our bathroom

While we were gone in late June, the church had our upstairs bathroom re-done.  (We live in a parsonage for those who don't know.)  It's finally done!  We have a vent now, and no more flooring on the walls!  Thanks St. Paul Ladies' Aid for our new bathroom!  It's almost too nice to use.

The old bathroom in all its glory with linoleum on the walls.

Entering the new bathroom-sorry dark picture-

 (with the exception that I have now painted the white area above the tile

 a dark chocolate brown).

Ahhhh.....memories!

Our new tub and shower

Balloons, Bouncing and Drunk Chickens

We returned from our jaunt to Wisconsin and the Twin Cities last night.  We had fun seeing my grandparents again in their apartment, staying at the farm with my mom and going to the Northern Wisconsin State Fair (Anju's first fair experience).  We also went to Fort Snelling with my parents and brother, and Anju attended her first parade in my hometown.  Anju was happy to see her "dad-n" again after a week apart.

  

Anju at her first fair- with her first balloon! 

  (We had been told to watch for a latex allergy (common with spina bifida),

 but did not notice any problems--yay!)

Solveig at the fair with a patriotic elephant.

Jonah's fave, Smokey the Bear.

Great-Grandma bounces Anju on her leg and sings a little Norwegian rhyme

 just as she did her own children and grandchildren.

  Great- Grandpa looks on.

Only in Wisconsin.....do the chickens all get provided with beer cups.

Now FINALLY we have a block of 3 weeks dedicated to staying home and enjoying ourselves.  Maybe some grilling, lemonade, swimming in the lake near our house, and just plain laying back for once?  I'm mostly looking forward to doing a sane amount of laundry each day and not having to do 5 or 6 loads in a mad dash to pack for the next endeavor.  

The early intervention people came this morning to give Anju the full Bayley evaluation to see exactly where she needs assistance with her development.  They'll be back on Thursday afternoon with the special education teacher to go over the results and help us come up with a workable plan.  We were happy today when they came with documents for us to sign which give us the power to take whatever services we want that they will offer, and the power to say "no thanks" if we desire. 

My hopes are that they will line her up with some sort of ESL speech therapy.  She has an extensive vocabulary in her head, but little ability to express her knowledge, even with her growing collection of signs.   They did also comment that she is doing so well--but is pretty wobbly with running/stair climbing and needs to do a lot of balance checks to keep herself upright.  I'm sure her leg weakness is contributing to this, and I hope to get some guidance from them as how to help her maximize her gross motor potential.

Solveig and Jonah started swimming lessons today.  For Jonah, it was his first time, and there were tears from his little face as he got lost trying to find the boy's locker room, and again after the lesson because he was too scared to do all the skills by himself.  He said he had a good time, though, and wants to go back.  Thank goodness.  I paid for 3 weeks and he's going whether he likes it or not!  :-)

There's No Place Like Home

Please pray for another little girl with spina bifida who now resides at the same orphanage that Anju lived in.  This girl also was transferred there from the same Catholic facility Anju spent her first 6 months at, and is one month older than Anju.  She is new to the listings and has a beautiful little face.  (She is listed with both WACAP and AIAA, if you are a prospective adoptive parent.)

How I wish we could take them all--especially after having been to the orphanage and seeing first hand what institutionalization does to children.  The physical and emotional growth the children who have come home- including Anju- have accomplished is miraculous.  I know that this type of potential lies within all these children and pray for more parents to take up the challenge of providing homes for them.  

Glimpse of Hope

Just called the banking hotline---the check for court fees has been cashed.  That's got to be a good sign, right??

Antics

Question about adoption finalization

Since I had a question about the finalization process, I thought I'd make a post to answer so everyone is "in the know".

Our home study agency (Lutheran Social Service) has a finalization person who gave us the correct legal paperwork.   This paperwork includes the actual adoption decree, what we want her legal name to be, what we want on her birth certificate and requesting copies of the birth certificate.  It also includes a letter that we are enclosing the amount set by the county for adoption minus the amount charged for the putative father registry, since the MN legislature has ruled that internationally adopted children need not be charged.

We sent the papers and the payment for the court fees to LSS, and they added their own paperwork to it (I believe a cover letter saying we had met all their stipulations) and sent it to our county court. We now wait for our court to call us and schedule a date to appear to have the adoption finalized.   There is no charge to us except the court fees which are minimal.  (I'm sure these finalization services are included in the post-placement fees charged by LSS.)  It seems to vary state to state---that is how it is done in MN.

Our agency, although large, had never done an IR-4 visa adoption before, so there was some confusion initially.  All kids from India come on IR-4 visas, meaning that they were not adopted abroad, and must be adopted here.  We are their legal guardians, not adoptive parents when we come home with them to the US.  Only Hindus are allowed to adopt in India.  Most other countries (China for example) allow you to adopt in the court system abroad, so your child comes home on an IR-3 visa and becomes a citizen immediately upon entering the U.S.  

There's your Indian adoption finalization 101 for today.

Happy 4th of July from the Staffords!

Well, we had hoped that Anju would be formally a Stafford and an American by July 4th, and alas it is not to be.  The court of Polk county has had our adoption paperwork for over 2 weeks, and has not contacted us for a court date yet.  So, Anju remains a citizen of India her first Independence Day.

However, our little Desi girl will enjoy the bounty of the day--grilling with friends, fireworks (if she can stay awake), and red/white/blue pancakes for breakfast.  And actually, although her upcoming American citizenship is an important aspect of her new life as our daughter, it actually brings a tinge of sadness to think of her losing another part of her history.  Her Indian passport with the small, baby girl's face inside and the Visa picture of a screaming toddler will be no longer her essential legal document--but a souvenir for her scrapbook.

So we celebrate today---we celebrate our forefathers who established the ideology of what this new country, America, was to be.  We celebrate the efforts of men and women in times past and present who fought to keep our country safe and free--especially those who gave their lives.  We celebrate as a Scandinavian-German-Indian family.  The stuff America is made of.