Just Smurfy!

Solveig and Jonah wanted their grandparents to see the

Smurf village they made for their toy Smurfs.

Here you go!

Assessment

Definitely not a picture to send to India!

  Anju helps me clean the kitchen.

Anju likes to wear her "dupatta" around the house.  

She calls it "ta-ta".

Couch (or rocking chair) potato Anju watching Elmo, clicker in hand.

Today had great moments.  Anju allowed me to clean the whole kitchen for almost an hour.  She grabbed a paper towel and "helped" and ooooed and aaaawed and was so pleasant.  She loved it when I vacuumed, and was so nice.

Then there is now, when she is upset because I won't open the can of diced tomatoes she's been carrying around for half an hour.  This confuses me.

Anyway, the nurse came today  and evaluated Anju.  She tested at the level of an 18-month old.  So, she is about 4 months behind developmentally.  Since she has made great strides in recent weeks, is only a few months behind, and I stay home with her, we decided that we would not enter her in any intervention program now.  I will continue taking her to storytime at the library and doing whatever I can to expose her to learning opportunities, read to her, etc. and the nurse will return after she turns 2 to reassess.  If at that time she has not caught up or has remained at this level in a certain area, we will do something about it.  She felt that many of her linguistic issues are due to all the growth in the gross motor area she has done lately causing her not to focus on the language right now, and the fact that she heard other languages in the orphanage--both of which I'm sure contribute.  

She's on my lap right now and I just figured out the tomato thing.  She is making the sign for "apple" and wants me to open the can.  The tomato on the can looks like an apple.  Whenever I think she has lost her mind, it always makes sense later.  What a girl.

Is there a developmental psychologist in the house????

Anju has called us "Mama" and "Dad-n" for quite a while now.  However, sometimes it is hard to recognize what she is saying and I'm sure her vocabulary is much fuller than we give her credit for, since many of her "words" are nasally grunts or one-syllable sounds and it takes us awhile to realize, "hey, that's her word for ______!"

In the last few days, it has become clear that "Mama" refers to a girl and "Dad-n" is a boy.  We sat in the last pew in church on Sunday, and each man that passed was pointed to and called "Dad-n."  Solveig and I are both "Mama" and "Mom" is usually me, but can be whoever hands her what she wants/needs.  Anju also seems to call herself "Mama" at least sometimes.  "Dad-n" is Jonah and Shawn and apparently every man at church.  But if I say Jonah or Solveig or Daddy's names, she knows who I'm talking about.  Hmmmm?

"Pup-Pup" is still every animal with fur and 4 legs, including cats, puppies, camels, horses, bunnies, and cows.  They all say, "woof."  The only other kind of animal in Anju's world is a monkey, which she loves and doesn't seem to say, but if anyone says the word, "monkey", or shampoos their hair (our kids shampoo has a picture of a monkey on it), she makes very convincing monkey noises.  She even pointed out that there was a monkey on her diaper and made the monkey noise.

So, we're still in the overgeneralization phase, which is at the same time cute and annoying.  I still don't understand why she can say "ba-bye" but "baby" is a 2-syllable nasal noise.  I took the Psychology class, "Human Growth and Development", a language development course from the Communication Disorders department, and many ESL classes in college (jeepers, I minored in linguistics!!) and I am still confused about that one.

By the way:  Little People baby from the last post is still going "na-nite."  She saw her this morning in the chair and pointed at it and said, "na-nite."

Of course.....

Anju would wake up from her nap the second I open the blog window, so this will be brief.  

Anyway, she has 2 new words today that she is using, "off" and "na-nite".  She lifted her foot bearing a shoe toward me like she usually does when we got home from seeing the "tax man" for me to help take off her shoe, and said, "off".  Then the other foot, "off!"  Then back to the first foot for sock "off", and second foot sock "off."  Then, of course Mama's socks had to come "off" too.

Then, she put her Little People baby (whom she loves soooo much) in a Little People chair and said "na-nite baby" and kissed her.  Then she walked away and turned around and waved at the baby and said again, "na-nite."

Coffee drinker?

Inspired by and named after the man who cared for an abandoned orphan whom this family would later adopt, Gobena Coffee is gourmet, organic, fair-trade coffee that is delivered fresh to your door.  

100% of the proceeds from Gobena Coffee are going to help fund orphan care in Ethiopia, Zambia, Ukraine, and India.

Please check out their website to learn more about how this family was blessed through adoption and about the specific projects they are currently sponsoring through this company.

Assessment

Shawn talked to the Polk County nurse today, and she will be coming to assess Anju's development next Tuesday afternoon.  This way, Anju is not signed up for anything....we can get a good picture of where she is at and what she needs and the nurse will present what the choices available to us are after her assessment.

Anju's faves this week: her fuzzy scarf (really any fleece fabric), "The Foot Book" by Dr. Seuss, Valentine candy, and Elmo, which she saw for the first time this week and was mesmerized by.

Please keep Anju's friends at Ashraya in your prayers as the poor economy has been keeping some of them from finding homes.  Especially keep "Vee", the little boy with SB who was featured in the same waiting child article as Anju in your prayers, as he once again waits for a family.  This little boy was a joy to play with at Ashraya and was the one who kept calling Shawn "Auntie" when all the other kids called him "Uncle."  

Snapshots from today

Anju enjoys Indian food for lunch--basmati rice, kidney bean/lentil curries, pita & sour cream.  

Her faves: kidney beans and sour cream (not Indian, but preferred to plain yogurt).

Anju performing "licking the spatula" duties after helping Mama make bars in the kitchen.  

If you look at the picture closely, you can see her bottom teeth coming in.

Mmmmm....chocolate!

A girl after my own heart.

After the bus came, Spiderman made an appearance and scared the living "stuff" out of Anju.

Once she tried on the mask and saw herself in the mirror she laughed.

Detective Mom

Anju hasn't been so willing to have the inside of her mouth inspected.  Not by the doctor, and not by me either.  She loves to brush her teeth, and lets me help, but her lips are usually pretty tight while we brush.

However, last night I got a good look in there--and what do I find, but that 2 bottom teeth are coming in.  So, with my detective hat on and pipe in (not really), I have deduced that this is likely the cause of all this recent biting of her own clothing, stuffed animals, books, blankets and brother (ok, there is a different cause for that one).  One has just pierced through, and the other is soooo close to peeking out.  

Hopefully this is also the cause of her fussiness, bowel issues and sleeplessness--a mom can dream, right?

Happy Valentine's Day from the whole gang!

We spent the day cleaning up and the evening taking baths and watching the Peanuts Valentine's Day special on ABC. Shawn left around 1:30 to go see shut-ins and then preached up in Roseau (near the Canadian border) at 6 pm. I'm expecting him home about 10:30 or so.

Solveig with her Valentine's Day bear that Anju picked out at Dollar Tree.

Jonah with his monkey from Mom and Dad.

Our little Valentine celebrating her first Valentine's Day.

Lazy Dad!

I woke up this morning to all the kids already awake, playing "Old-Fashioned Little People" in Jonah's room. They have no school because of conferences today and tomorrow. They had made a school area, had a bus picking up people at their stops on the road rug, a racetrack area, city center with post office box, the whole deal. Jonah was a bit disappointed that Anju needed to sit in the middle of the road and only played with the puppy and a tricycle, but on the whole going well.

So upon seeing this sight, I hung out watching what was going on. Over on one side I saw a Little Person laying on the ground next to a bed. I asked, "What is going on with that one? Is he sick or something?"

Solveig put the person back in the bed and said, "It's the dad."

I said, "What's he doing?"

Solveig replied, "He's just laying around like our dad does."

She then moved the girl Little Person next to him. "Wake up, Dad!" the girl said.

"See---the daughter is trying to wake him up just like I try to wake up Dad!" Solveig said.




Shawn--is there something you need to tell me?

Enjoy your day!

No therapy

We got a call today from the school and they are unable to provide therapy services for Anju because it is outside our resident school district. We have open enrolled the other 2 kids, and they thought at the evaluation it wouldn't be a problem. But it is.

We are reluctant to sign up Anju at our resident school district, as there are bad feelings there after having withdrawn our older two children and open enrolling them in a neighboring school due to several issues. I also know of a family who was unable to get their child with special needs released from our school district, because they are a small, struggling district and need the extra money children with special needs bring to their school. Bottom line: I am concerned that if we have her evaluated there, she will be unable to attend the same school her siblings attend when she is school-aged. Keeping her off the radar will enable us to apply to have her open enrolled when she is ready for Pre-K with no questions asked (since you don't have to put on the form that she has special needs).

Those of you from our resident school district reading this need to realize that this school was not right for our family. There is nothing wrong with sending your child to school there if it fits their needs. We know many, many kids and parents that love their school. That is great! We are not saying it is a bad school. We just feel the neighboring school is a better fit for our family's needs.

So, please pray for us as we make decisions regarding our next move. Fortunately, Anju is doing very well right now and is able to be at home with her mommy who tries to work with her every day anyway.

Saturday Afternoon Sledding

Appointments update

The myelodysplasia clinic in Fargo called yesterday, and the clinic for February has been cancelled. Joy. The next clinic will be held in mid-April. This changes our plans, since we were going to stay in a hotel in Fargo next Thursday (the kids don't have school Thurs-Fri for conferences) and make a fun couple days out of it. Now we'll have to take the kids out of school if they come along for this appointment in April (which is at 8:30 in the morning in a city 75 miles away). Oh well, what can you do??

Not able to wait any longer, we called the school's Early Childhood Special Education department, and Anju went in today for an orientation. She will hopefully have a PT/OT appt at our house in 2 weeks to evaluate her and start their services. We had wanted to wait until she saw the drs in Fargo, since they outline what should be done, but can't wait until April to start these services.

It is difficult to know what she needs, since most material on spina bifida divides it into 3 groups: myelomeningocele (what you usually think of--kid born with a hole in their back that has immediate surgery as a newborn--in a wheelchair or with braces--with a shunt and those kinds of issues), meningocele (only the covering to the spinal cord is sticking out the back at birth, not the spinal cord, so less problems), or occulta (not usually supposed to be too many problems-- many don't even know they have it). Anju's issue, lipomyelomeningocele, is not usually covered. Some resources I have read place it with the myelomeningocele group (India did), others place it in the occulta group (not an open spine). I would guess her tethered cord syndrome will be the issue--who knows!

So, I have no idea what her actual therapy needs are. I hope they'll be able to figure it out.

A note to tired parents of small children from one

I've thought a lot lately about exhaustion. (I wonder why! :-) Now, I've worked very exhausting jobs in the past. I've worked at an egg product factory. I've worked on my feet as a cook in a college cafeteria. I've worked at a YMCA day camp teaching horseback riding lessons all day. A few years ago I got a job assembling Christmas wreaths. I know what it is to be completely spent after a long day at work. And now, with my third toddler, I have to say that there is nothing more exhausting than the toll parenting a child under 4 takes on you. It's not all physical--it's emotional too. At least when working out of the home I got two fifteens and a thirty. No breaks here. During nap time it's catch-up time.

But I guess the most difficult thing is that after an exhausting day at a physically tough job, or working on a long paper for school, or any other task that requires lots of energy, you can throw yourself in a heap on the couch and nurse your sore back or feet or brain while reveling in the good feeling you get when you have worked hard and accomplished something. Going to sleep at the end of a long day with a toddler with unwashed laundry lying around in heaps slowly mixing with the clean, a pile of unread parenting guides by your bedside and a "to do" list that is longer for tomorrow than it was for today just leaves you spent without the pleasure of the feeling of accomplishment.

Here's what I've been trying to focus on today: we, as parents of toddlers, ARE accomplishing something. It may not be laundry or cooking or dusting or vacuuming, but every day, slowly, we are training our children to be successful, God-fearing people. We don't realize this on a daily basis. Sometimes you have to think back over the past few months to see this growth. But it is there. So for all you moms of small children--tonight when you slip under the covers in sheer exhaustion remember that you DID accomplish something today---good job!

Fun--Anju style!

Anju has a new fun game. Put some Lincoln Logs in a play dustpan, and try to stand up with them still in the dustpan. Or, throw them wildly with the dustpan and clap. Either way---lots of fun.





The gang in their 3-D glasses on Sunday waiting for the 3-D commercial to come on. Anju bailed from this pic.

Our Little Stafford

As Brooke knows, Anju has been having fun lately throwing things.  When she was frustrated, she used to pinch and bite.  This strategy was useful in the orphanage, but we were able to nip that one after a month or so down to an only occasional occurrence (usually involving her brother---hmmmm.)  Then it was just whining and meltdowns- usual toddler fare.  Well now, knowing that the drama doesn't work, she has resorted to throwing things.......  books, toys, mittens, washcloths, whatever is in reach.  She threw her sippy cup so many times the valve doesn't stick in all the way anymore and its contents dribble out onto the floor when thrown.  And, she threw her shoe at me and I had a lovely cut bottom lip with a beautiful bruise.  Hopefully these toddler temper issues will resolve themselves soon--before anyone needs the services of a plastic surgeon.  

It astounds me how precious, cute and wonderful Anju is in public.  She may be busy and opinionated (like during Daddy's sermon when she wants to go to the fellowship hall for "snack time" a bit early and is upset that I won't take her) but is in general great spirits.  She toddles around away from me and explores her environment- gravitating toward other kids or animals.  But at home, her clinginess and "need" to be carried gets overwhelming and frustrating quite a bit of the time.  Getting better day by day, but we're still not there yet.  And, she is after all close to two.  That is its own challenge!

Anju has really started her "parrot" mode where she copies everything we do.  She started eating left-handed because her sister was, but gave up when the spoon kept dropping all the food off.  She saw her sister dip crackers in her soup, so she needed a cracker too.  She shoved it in her chunk of sweet potato, lifted it back up and took a bite--"mmmmmmm!"  

She is signing more to get what she needs and patiently waits for a refill of her cup or a biscuit when she knows we understand what she needs.  However, signing "banana" in Target didn't bring a banana (unfortunately I left my kitchen at home) which led to another throwing session so this is a work in progress.  :-)

She's getting to know our routines, and when she sees me in the morning she shows me where the coffee is and points out my mug if she can see it from her vantage point.  She directed me this morning to pray for my coffee since I was sitting at the table--which I don't think I've ever deemed necessary before--but I suppose God gave us coffee too.  

Anju is learning day by day not only how to be an American, or how to be in an American family, but is learning to be a Stafford of Lengby.  She is developing our mannerisms and assimilating to our family culture.  And I'm thinking how amazing and wonderful this is while Anju, Shawn and I eat curried kidney beans, lentils, basmati and pitas for lunch.  Anju is learning to be a Stafford while we are learning to be Indian.  Just amazing!

A good week

Anju has had a good week.  She's walking wonderfully--she chooses to walk on her own quite a bit now.  She has discovered that it's fun to sit and play Little People and Duplos with mom during the day instead of whine to be held, and loves to play with the Fisher Price popcorn popper now that she can walk consistently behind it.  I thought this would be good motivation to walk--but of course my girl figured out right away that it pops just as well if you sit in your kid-sized rocking chair with it in front of you and rock back and forth.  Resourceful or lazy, I don't know.

Anju loves her piggie tails!

Ready for church!

First time playing outside with Solveig

Anju and Pumpkin playing together outside.  

She was very excited that Pumpkin was on her lap--she tried and tried to get her mittens off so she could pet him, but Solveig was a good sister and didn't allow it.  She has played outside with her brother and sister twice.  The first time her brother threw a snowball at her and she was ready to come in--welcome to the world of the little sister.  The second time, she was so frustrated that she couldn't take her mittens off to pet Pumpkin, she had to come in and take a nap.  At least the temperature is above zero finally so that she can go outside!