Adventures with the SSA

Even with many local schools 2 hours late because of yet another snowstorm (no such luck for Solveig and Jonah), we ventured out yesterday to Bemidji to the Social Security office to get Anju's SS number. With her Certificate of Citizenship application only 3 months into a 4-6 month processing time, and following the advice of our agency to go for the COC first to expedite the passport application process, we had no proof of Anju's citizenship. However, since you don't need to be a citizen to get a SS number, we decided that being able to claim Anju on our taxes was worth the later minor inconvenience of stopping back in and having her changed in the system from "resident alien" to "citizen".

So, we revved the car through the pile of snow leading to the poorly plowed driveway and entered the building. Since all the cars there (all 5 of them) were parked in a line away from the main door, I figured we were the only ones there, and we were. Once inside, the security guard had to show us how to use the touch-screen computer at the door to get a number printed out for us. Ha! So, we got our number and took a seat in the waiting room. By the time our behinds got on the chairs, a woman came to one of the windows and said, "You guys can come up here now." Good thing we had that number, as another group of people came in a half hour later and there might have been some confusion as to who was next!

We had our adoption decree, Anju's birth certificate, her Indian passport and her green card. When she asked if Anju was adopted from the US or another country, I told the lady right away we didn't yet have citizenship proof as it takes 4-6 months and she nodded her head and said, "Yep, it does. That's fine." The SS lady interviewed Shawn and filled out everything on her computer herself while we watched and read the posters on the wall showing us which languages you could get an interpreter for if you needed them. As I considered asking how many people come to Bemidji needing a Tagalog translator, and Shawn pointed out to me the differences between Biblical Greek and Modern Greek using said poster, Anju snacked on Goldfish crackers she dug out of my purse.

When all was said and done, she said they needed to verify the documents, and then it'd be about 2 weeks and we'd have her card in the mail. You never want your child to be "just a number", but a name AND a number will be quite valuable in 2 weeks at our tax appointment!

The "Bump" Dilemma

My little "baby" is growing up. She's using the potty more and more frequently (yay enticing Elmo underwear) and I'm thinking about soon introducing her to the toddler bed. Nearly 3, she's finally starting to wear some size 24 months clothes (although most of her pants are still 12 or 18 months).

So here's my dilemma. Anju has a bump on her back associated with her spina bifida. Many of you know this. It's not just a bump, but a bump with a big scar on it that's right at her lumbar area just where the shirt hits the pants. So, active kid = exposed bump.

In India, I hadn't given it much thought until Shawn pointed out that as I was holding her, her shirt was riding up and people were staring and pointing at her back. I didn't want her getting that kind of attention, so was pretty careful about pulling down her shirt over there. When we got home, depending on who we were with, I made careful plans to conceal the bump. Dresses, rompers, onesies, bibs---they all do the trick of covering that area nicely as long as they aren't too tight to the body in that location. One out of every 3 swimsuits we've tried has a shallow enough back opening to keep her bump concealed--as long as it is a one-piece.

Now that she's getting close to being out of baby sizes where rompers and onesies are plentiful---and now that all the one-pieces really interfere with potty training---what should be my plan? I'm certainly not ashamed of her back--and don't want her to be either. But as she goes out more in the world, it's probably not the first thing she wants advertised about herself, either. Should she be wearing dresses (the only potty-accessible thing I can think of that covers an active kid's back) every day while her siblings throw on a t-shirt and capris or jeans? Do I just let her wear whatever she wants and teach her how to talk about her scar to other kids (not sure what age that would be practical)?

Such a minor problem- I know. She is so blessed. Of all the complications she could have with her spinal defect, her issues are all on the extreme minor end of the scale. We pray that continues throughout her lifetime. But as a parent, you want to do the right thing- and you worry about everything. Especially when it comes to "disability". You want to have the right attitude- maybe not the politically correct one of the minute-- but the one that leaves your child with the best impression of themselves and their place in the community at large. The potential of creating the appearance of shame vs. old-fashioned discretion. That's the dilemma.

Spice of Life

I'm behind with loading pics (amongst a million other things), but soon you'll see some wonderful pictures of Solveig's 10th birthday party we held on Saturday. It had a spy theme-- complete with code books, secret messages, suicide pills (tic tacs)----the works. The kids made secret agent watches with a special compartment to hold their poison/codes/secret weapons and they had a blast.

Today, Shawn had a pastor's meeting in Bemidji, so Anju and I took the opportunity to go along and shop. We live 35 miles away from what most would consider actual stores--so we don't make trips more than weekly- if that. She is a great companion, but today the hours of shopping (meeting was from 9-3) caught up with her. She was a lot like shopping with my late grandfather. "Yeah, they all look great. Buy them all and let's go!"

Herberger's had a great sale--75% off the clearance price. So, I was doing some serious looking. With each item I found, Anju would say, "Buy?"---she was ready to check out. She finally held out her hand (like "talk to the hand") and said, "Mama, no more." So, to avoid a meltdown, we headed to the check out and bought our load of treasures. On the way out, I spotted a darling Easter dress in the toddler section, and stopped the stroller to show Anju. She immediately turned around and furrowed her brow. "No, Mama. Mama already BUY! No more!"

Hint taken.

Earlier at Target, I spotted a giant Toblerone bar in the candy section. "Yum-my!" I said to her with great expression. She said, "No, Mama. Yum-Anju! Not yum-you!"

At the grocery store, I handed her the items to put in the cart as we went along to keep her occupied. She started asking me if each thing was spicy or not. I have no idea why. When it got to the can of Mexican chiles, I answered that it indeed was spicy, unlike the eggplant or the hummus sitting next to her in the cart. She said, "Andu don't like spicy" and handed it back to me. Obviously she is listening to her brother and sister too much (Scandinavians), because she DOES like spicy.

So, at least she kept me entertained.

I'm off to make tacos---both spicy ones, and un-spicy ones.

The One Where Amy Is Stormed-In On Her Birthday And Can't Go Shopping

So yes, it was my birthday. And yes, I usually go to Bemidji to go shopping and eat out on my birthday. And yes, this year there was a storm with ice and sleet and snow and drizzle and freezing rain and rain that froze and all that other good stuff that isn't supposed to stop the USPS-- but actually on the radio they said that mail service was cancelled in Bagley. What's with that? I digress. So I was stuck at home with my 3 kids and husband. And in the midst of Haiti's recovery and recent memories of India and situations with TRUE tragedy, I know it isn't something to get upset over. So I didn't. But it was disappointing. Why couldn't I have been born in July? (Did I mention that Jonah also got the stomach flu? Well, he did.)

But then you find yourself counting your blessings.

Some selections from my birthday gift from my girls-- a book written on foam sheets and held together with pipe cleaners that is all about me:

More wonderful pages too. Thanks girls! (Note that Anju insisted Solveig draw her FP popcorn popper on the toy page--when I opened it, she ran to get her toy and showed me that it was the same.) They also made me a pop-up card which Anju decorated with multi-color scribbles. Jonah made me a bookmark. "You read, don't you Mom?"

We watched figure skating in the afternoon and in the evening and enjoyed a French Silk pie picked up in town in preparation for poor weather. We had scalloped potatoes with a swiss cheese sauce for lunch and moroccan chicken, basmati and kidney bean curry for supper. Mmmmmmmm! So, for a stormed-in birthday, not bad!

Below zero outside--heating up inside

Last night, Solveig had piano lessons.  In her absence, Jonah and Anju were having a tough time getting along:

Jonah stole Anju's blankie and ran around with it, laughing.  

Anju: "Andu's bird blankie, Nona!  Nona OWN blankie!"

Anju clawed Jonah with her fingernails in retaliation.  Mama trimmed Anju's nails.  

Anju: "Hurt, Mama!  Hurt!"

Jonah won't share his toys.  Anju signs "share".  Jonah hits Anju when she reaches for a toy.  

Anju: "Mama!  Nona no share Andu!"

Anju grabs a book to read.  Oops, it's Jonah's.  Jonah swipes back the book.  Quiet.  Jonah waits for the reaction.  Anju looks at Jonah and then rolls her eyes.  She looks up at the ceiling and takes a deep breath. 

Anju (very softly and calmly):  "1-2-3-4-5.  Nona go Nona's room."

So, Anju has now picked up on our discipline method and is counting and disciplining Jonah for me.  Isn't that great?

Jonah replies, "You're not the parent!  I wish you weren't my sister." and hits her with the book.

But wouldn't you know--within 10 minutes I had them playing "old-fashioned" Little People together and I overheard Jonah say, "I love you, Anju!"

Please pray for Nisha

 Anju's "cousin" from her children's home in India, Nisha, received devastating medical news recently.  She is a precious 4-year old girl whom we hope to visit this summer along with some other kids from Anju's orphanage who have come home to their families.  We have come to think of Anju's India friends as extended family, and ache with Nisha's family as they must endure this hardship.

Please keep Nisha and her family (mom,dad and 2 brothers) in your prayers as they have a long road ahead of them, full of challenges and blessings.  

Adventures in family devotions

Ever since Christmas, our family devotions have been preparing us for, and leading up to the appearance of the Wise Men on Epiphany.  Perhaps we were over-educated and too prepared with the story, for when Shawn asked the kids what the gifts the Wise Men brought were, it resulted in responses like, "Mold, Frankenstein and manure!".

Encouraging them to settle down and be serious about the devotion is not always successful.  While we have standing jokes (our devotional always reminds kids that their pastor, father, mother and Sunday School teacher are there to teach them about Jesus- who are only 2 people to our kids), we do want the tone to be worshipful and give them the opportunity to ask whatever questions they may have.  However, there is peeking through the fingers during prayer time, tattling- "Look, she's not praying!", fighting over who gets to light or extinguish the candle, and the unending argument over whose turn it is to put up the next Nativity figure.

When Jonah was 4, he decided he didn't like church and didn't want to go anymore.  We explained to him why he had to go and what he could do there to keep himself busy during the "boring" parts.  His response, obviously, was that he did not require church, as he worshipped Baal and not Jesus.  This convenient Baal worship continued on for several months--usually when he was supposed to do something that Jesus would want him to do- like share, attend church or stop hitting his sister.  I realized, though, that he had really paid attention in Sunday School when we studied Elijah.  Although his application was not quite what I wanted it to be, the information was there.

So, although the Wise Men in the Stafford home apparently brought stinky and scary gifts to the child Jesus, the message was heard.  Even with all the silliness, they heard the Word.  They know the story.  They know what each gift represented.  They're just PK's--and you know what trouble they can be!