Look What a 2 Can Do!

Illness and a book recommendation

Anju and I have been under the weather the past few days with a fever/snot/cough virus (no Swine Flu yet!) but are now on the upward swing (I hope!) and are trying to get back into the groove of things. The upside of Anju's cold is that she is actually napping again for longer than 20 minutes so I can get a few things done although I really should be napping---anyway---the downside is much more clinginess again and regression in Anju's ability to be independent if only for a few minutes.  Same old "kid is sick baby-regression" with an adoption adjustment twist.

I got a stack of books from the library on child development that I'm trying to glean advice/insight from since Anju's recent evaluations placed her in the "borderline" area.  I've also got about 7 loads of laundry to do along with numerous other household chores in addition to responsibilities of my job as city clerk.   And---- the kids and I are trekking back down to the cities on Friday so we can attend the Festival of Nations, an annual tradition, with my parents on Saturday.  So, same old Mom stuff--bon bons and soap operas.

Anju is very into the finger plays, songs, rhymes, etc. she learns at the library and in her illness has enjoyed hearing "Open, Shut Them" and "5 Little Ducks" likely 10 million times each.  She can do most of the actions and it is just the most precious thing to watch her play along.

While at the library, I found the book, "The Waiting Child" by Cindy Champnella, and took it home and read it in one sitting late at night.  I would highly recommend that everyone with a heart for adoption read this book.  It is written by the mother of a girl adopted at age 4 from China.  Not only is it an inspiring story of the love of this girl for another child in her orphanage and how her persistence helps bring this boy home, but it is very eye-opening as to what older child adoption is like.  The insight into what growing up in an institution does to a child is invaluable for parents of older adoptees to have.  I have done extensive reading on the subject, and even I was taken back by the impact living in this orphanage had on this child and her view of the world.  I especially liked hearing the adoption story both from the child's p.o.v. and the mom's.   A portion of the book also addresses issues all int'l or cross-racial adoptive families face, like maintaining the child's birth culture (esp. when the child is trying to be American) and talking to them about their birth families.  If you are able to purchase the book, the jacket says all of the author's proceeds will be donated to charity to benefit Chinese orphans.  Oh, and it'd be a good idea to buy some Kleenex too.

Anju meets Edna

Singing "Happy Birthday"!

A pup-pup saves the day!

Anju did well today getting casts made for her orthotics.  This isn't something 2-year-olds enjoy, but the man at the medical accessories office brought her a stuffed puppy to distract her while he put casts on both of her feet, waited for them to dry, and then cut them off.  Right away, she was skeptical of this gift and although the "pup-pup" was cute and soft, she still was paying attention to what this stranger was doing to her feet.

However, it turns out that this stuffed dog knows the same finger plays that Anju does at the library!  Fancy that!  So Anju got involved with helping the puppy move his paws appropriately with the little rhymes and tickled him or had him clap when appropriate.  The fact that this dog had her mama's voice didn't seem to matter.  THANK YOU so much to Merit Care Medical Accessories for the gift of the stuffed animal which helped make this casting process a nearly tearless experience for Anju.

We will go back in about 10 days to get the insert--we will then have to buy a shoe that will support it, likely a size bigger than Anju's current size.

(Shawn) The 2nd and 3rd Legs of the Trip: On Our Way to Another Birthday Party!

After the day of appointments, we were all rather tired as we made our way to Alexandria, where we had reservations to stay at the AmericInn.  Since Solveig and Jonah were so patient and well-behaved during Anju's marathon appointment, we rewarded them by letting them pick out toys at Fleet Farm.  Going there was a treat for all of us, since the nearest one to Lengby is over 80 miles away.  While shopping, we ran into Mel, the manager of Goodwill in Bemidji, who immediately recognized us since we are frequent donaters.  She was quite different in appearance from the last we had dropped stuff off at GW, with a different hair color and dressed in biker clothes.  How funny to run into someone from our home area, away from home a couple hundred miles!  We also let the kids eat at McDonalds and get Monsters vs. Aliens toys.  Daddy had just taken them to that movie the week before.

The kids enjoyed swimming again in the motel pool.  It was not as deep and much warmer than the one in Moorhead.  Anju was excited to be back in the water, but didn't stay in the pool as long as the night before.  She went back to the room with mama, while dad stayed for some time with the older kids until the pool area got over-populated.  The next day started fairly early, and dad took the kids to breakfast, allowing Amy to get in the shower without it bothering Anju.  The breakfast was awesome- eggs, sausage, make-your-own-waffles, a variety of cereal, and bakery and pastry items.  

After checking out, we got back on 94 toward St. Cloud.  We stopped for a while at the St. Cloud Goodwill, and then made our way to Pine Island, to celebrate Great Grandma (Solveig, Jonah, and Anju's Great-Great Grandma) Edna Stafford's 100th birthday.  This was also grandpa Dave's first introduction to Anju.  

When we got to Pine Island, we walked with mom (Grandma Darlene) over to Grandpa and Grandma Arnold and Ann Stafford's, Shawn's grandparents.  They were glad to meet Anju.  She was not used to them yet, but was happy to visit.  When we got back, we ate grilled burgers.  We're not used to grilling out in Northern MN until almost June.  Anju got to open more presents!  Solveig and Jonah got to stay overnight with grandpa and grandma, while Shawn, Amy, and Anju stayed at an inexpensive motel in Rochester.

On Sunday, we enjoyed a hearty McDonald's Deluxe breakfast, and went to mom and dad's church, Christ our Rock Lutheran Church in Rochester.   We spoke with friends we went to Bethany College with after the service and introduced them to Anju.  Then we had lunch at Wendy's.  Anju got a very cool toddler toy plastic piano, which she played happily.

We went back to mom and dad's and awaited the arrival of sister Sara's boyfriend Sathish who was coming down from the Cities, where he was visiting friends.  He was born in the same town as Anju, Bangalore.  His family now resides in Chennai, formerly known as Madras.  He is an electronic engineer and is currently working at IBM in Rochester and completing his Master's Degree.  Sara is in Africa, doing medical work in the bush in Namibia.  It was nice of Sathish to stop over and meet us.  

A little after 2, we all went to Great-(Great-) Grandma Edna's birthday party at St. Paul Lutheran in Pine Island.  The social hall was packed with relatives and friends.  The most thoroughly represented family was that of grandma's late daughter Alice from Washington.  It was especially great to visit our Washington relatives, whom we have seen only once since moving from Oregon back to Minnesota 9 years ago.  My (Shawn's) mom's mother, Grandma Sammy also attended the party with her sister Carol.  How awesome that they got to meet Anju too on this trip.  Dad's brothers and their wives and some of my first cousins were also at the party and were introduced to Anju as well.  The party was a little too much for great-grandma Edna, though, who had trouble putting all the people with the right names.  She knows everything about all our family, but in her advanced age sometimes doesn't know whom she's talking to.  As a child, I lived across the street from her for 16 years, and so I am very glad my children get to know her.  She has been a big influence on my life.  When I brought Anju to her and placed her in her lap, she said, "Here's the one I've been wanting to see."  

When we left the party, soon it was supper time.  Dad grilled chicken drumsticks this time, and also put carrots on the grill.  They were excellent.  We also visited longer with Sathish.  At the end of the visit, Anju gave grandpa and grandma several hugs and kisses.   Before going back to the motel, this time with our whole crew, we stopped to get some snacks and fruit at a convenience store.  True to form, Solveig had forgotten her backpack at mom and dad's, but through the miracle of modern technology, the cell phone, mom and dad were able to catch us before we got out of town to tell us to come back and pick it up.  

On Monday morning, we all got to enjoy a couple McDonald's Deluxe Breakfasts family-style.  We then headed back toward Lengby.  We stopped at Goodwill at Maple Grove.  Then we shopped at a nearby Indian grocery store called Curry Up.  Amy had been there before, but this was Shawn's first visit there.  It was quite similar to a store we shopped at in Delhi.  In addition to food items, the store also had a CD and movie section, featuring Bollywood's latest.  Since it was Monday, the restaurant part of Curry Up was closed.  

We went in search of a restaurant, and soon found Kabob's, rated the best Indian restaurant in The Twin Cities in 2008.  Amy and I and Anju got the buffet, while Solveig and Jonah  played it safe with rice, fries, and Mango Lassi (a yogurt shake).  The buffet was spectacular, featuring a soup, idli, dal, goat and chicken curries, naan (flat bread) and other tasty items with traditional Indian sweets for dessert.  Some were even spicy for Anju, which rarely is the case for anything we eat in Northern Minnesota.  The waiter was from Bangalore.  He maintains a home there, while for the last 19 years he lives part of the year in the US and a few months in India.  The cashier was from Hyderabad.  This is a town where our church body conducts mission work.  The food was very excellent and the staff friendly.  This was an unexpected cultural experience that rounded out our road trip.

After lunch, we headed to St. Cloud, where we again stopped to see if there were any new deals at Goodwill, which there were.  Then we made our normal trek back to Northern MN, as we've been doing now for nine years.  We drove through for supper in Park Rapids and arrived home around 8.  It was time to bathe the kids and put them to bed, so Solveig and Jonah could get up for school at 6:10 on Tuesday.  Anju also had to go to Bemidji to be fitted for inserts to assist her in walking straighter and on the right part of her feet.  Dad also would be gone for the day for a pastors' meeting in Ulen.

Anju's never-ending doctor's appointment

We're home!  Here's the details of Anju's medical appointments in Fargo last Friday:

First of all, the nurse was very shocked to see Anju in the waiting room.  The child described in the medical information we had from the orphanage (MRI results, surgical details, etc) was expected to be much less physically capable than our little one.  She couldn't believe that Anju was the little girl she was there to get.  

Anju saw a pediatrician first, who did a general exam.  He determined that because of excellent muscle control, Anju should have no problems with potty training and regular functions of the "lower" part of her digestive tract.  This is great news, as bowel/bladder issues are so prevalent with spina bifida, and are a deficit we had expected Anju may have.  She still will need to maintain a high-fiber diet to regulate this system which is still at a disadvantage. 

The other tidbit we got from him was that her dimple on her back is an unusual one, not commonly seen.  I hadn't seen any online like that, so it was good to hear that she has a unique dimple and not some other issue.  

In addition, she saw a physical therapist, occupational therapist, nutritionist, medical social worker, opthamologist, urologist, orthopedist, and had an ultrasound of her bladder and kidneys done.  We were in appointments solid (maybe 2 minutes between specialists) from 8:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. with no time off for lunch.  

Final results of everything will be coming in the mail, but this is what we know now of what is to come.  She will need to go back to this clinic every 6 months to yearly as she grows.  The orthopedist is having her get UCBL inserts for bracing now, to correct her gait.  She is walking on the insides of her feet, which causes her feet to turn out.  We are going to Bemidji tomorrow to have molds made of her feet, and will return to have them fitted when they are ready.  She will need to see him in about 4 months to see how that is working.  This is about as minimal a brace a kid with sb could have, and for that we are very thankful.  The insert will be fully contained inside an athletic shoe, so other than the fact that she will need to wear shoes and socks all of the time, other kids won't know she has them on.

She is also having an MRI and CT scan done in mid-May of her entire head and spine.  This will require her to be sedated, have a medical exam done here the day before, and we'll have to be in Fargo early in the morning again.  She will have this done on the pediatric floor of the hospital.  I'm not sure if they are doing the urodynamic testing at the same time or not, but I hope so, as she will also need sedation for that.  Follow the link and you will see why.  It was a long day, and I had 3 cranky, hungry, bored kids on my hands so in the flurry of conversation the details have now escaped me.  

The PT and OT ladies thought that Anju was borderline for needing help, and recommended Early Intervention.  They also suggested speech therapy.  She ranged from testing at a 15-month-old level to a 22-month level on gross and fine motor skills and cognitive development.  This is not taking into account Anju's history of living in an institution, her size relative to other 2-year-olds, her recent acclimation to English, the fact that it has been winter ever since she arrived in America and had parents, and has not had the advantage of developing gross motor skills outside and likely a number of other factors.  She is expected to walk up and down stairs by herself without help.  The stairs at the hospital came up to her thighs.  Of course she's going to crawl---she's the size of some 9-month old babies!  Anyway, they will recommend this therapy officially, but felt that they would give me 6 months at home to work with her on the things she is behind in and see if she has caught up in 6 months.  If she is still too far behind, than they will STRONGLY recommend professional help.  

So, bottom line, she is doing much better in all of these areas than expected.   We are so happy for Anju that at the current time, her sb is not going to affect her much.  Following the MRI/CT scan, the drs will be able to make a more definitive plan for future surgeries, etc.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support regarding Anju's medical condition.  We are reminded daily about the providence and grace of God as we see our little one grow and progress in her skills and abilities.  What a blessing she is!

We got home around 8 tonight, bathed and got the kids in bed, and I'm beat---- so you'll have to wait until tomorrow to hear about the rest of our trip.